Weapon of mass distraction or a force for good? Essentially thats up to you.
I have been thinking about how to do this, video seems to be the media de jour, and it is a fast and effecitve method of communicating to a large group, it conveys emotion, and it makes us feel connected. However, it is another false interaction, its basically just me, talking back at my own reflection. And that goes against what I'm trying to get across.
So I'm sat at my laptop, thnking about my words, my turn of phrase, and I'm thinking about how share with you whats been going on.
As most of you know, I have recenty taken a breath. I have been absent, I havent been videoing classes, I havent been on our social media channels, many of you who have messaged me know that I havent been present at all.
So, first thing to say, sincerely, and humbly, is thank you. Thank you to each and everyone of you who allowed me to be in crisis for a moment or two without putting any pressure on me to be any different. I reached a point where I needed to switch focus, and you guys have been incredible in allowing me the space to do that.
I reached a point of crisis, I was not enjoying teaching yoga, I was making mistakes, I was comparing myself to others, I was overly self critical, I was not serving you in the way I always try to. I was out of control.
So I decided that I had to take back control, and that got me thinking.
See, I have no control to take back, whatever I chose to do, the whirlwinds would continue to swirl around me, my choice was whethr or not I participated in the chaos.
So I switched off, I chose not to participate, I chose not to become part of the chaos, I limited my time on social media, I put my smart phone in a drawer, I sat and journalled, with a pen, and paper, I planned in a notebook, I watched tv, I rediscovered the joy of being present, and connecting to the choices I was making.
Now I'm not asking you to relinquish all of those modern conveniences that are designed to (and very good at) making our lives easier, but I am asking you to be mindful of how this force for good, can also become a weapon of mass distraction.
News happens, emergencies happen, good things happen, I didnt miss any vital messages or news flashes in absentia, I simply chose when and how I responded to them. I'm not there yet, but I'm a hell of a lot better than I was, I'm present, I'm engaging, and I'm smiling.
I picked up the land line, and I reached out to my family, and rather than a few words via a whatsapp message, we had proper conversations that lasted hours rather than seconds, I finally got my garden cleared, and I felt less tense and tight.
Im going to continute to follow the routine I am building for myself, and I am going to keep tweaking it, improving it, and I am going to keep "showing up".
When you next feel trapped, tight, tense, when you are bing controlled by endless news cycles, screen scrolling and sedation, dont think you are helpless, ask yourself does this connection serve you, I imagine the answer will be no, so turn off your phone, put on your favourite music, grab your favourite book, and start showing up for yourself.
It's not selfish, its essential.
I'm going to start building a workshop around what Im learning as I explore my own sanity and as I strive to become a higher performing person.
But I wanted to reach out in a personal way, to say with my own considered words, Thank you all, for being awesome.
Humble Warrior isnt just a space to make shapes, its a space to make friends, make changes, make resoutions.
So I Promise to all of you, my friends, that both I and Humble Warrior will continue to change for the better, and I resolve to stay present, to stay here for you, as I know all of you have been here (and will continue to be in the future) here for me.
If you messaged me a kind word, an article you knew would help, then truly, truly, Thank you. I will start reading through them today, but I will be taking my time to digest, and appreicate, not just to skim.
The love, and light inside me, is, as ever, drawn to, and guided by the love and light in each and every one of you.
See you on the mat soon guys.